"Woody"

Name: "Woody"
Status: Single
Years with Company: 12
Distinguishing Feature: Skinhead

"Woody" or "W" (as I will now refer to him) is also quite a character. First of all, he's a skinhead. He's not a raging racist, but makes thinly veiled racist remarks from time to time. That is, when you can hear/understand him. "W" is that rare mix of a mumbler combined with a low talker so most of the time it's very hard to understand a damn thing he says. I've grown tired of saying "huh?" to him so now I either smile awkwardly when he says something or I just walk away. "W" is about 37 years old and this is the only job that he's ever had. A friend called him one day (a former half assed music store worker) to see if he could help out and he's been there ever since. Oh yeah, he also like to make weapons out of things like files, rulers and drum sticks.

A composition photo of what "W" may look like today

An Introduction

I would like to begin my work here by introducing you to my new co-workers. Today, we'll start with someone I'll call "Frankie"

Name: "Frankie"
Status: Married
Years with Company: 6
Distinguishing Feature: Pathological Liar

I met "Frankie" my second day on the job. My first impression--asshole. I was a little off, he's just a vehement liar. Let me give you a little background.

"Frankie", or "F" as I will refer to him from here on out, is a year older than me, went to a party university before flunking out his first semester and claims to have been drunk only once in his life. Upon his return from school, "F" took a job delivering furniture. After that, he became a clown at an alcohol free bowling alley. Following that, he was an employee at a Disney Store. Then he robbed a bank. He spent two years in prison and then got a job at Chuck E. Cheese where he impregnated his supervisor. His supervisor was the grand-daughter of the person who founded the Hald Assed Music Store and that's how he got his job.

Now you know a little about "F".

What "Frankie" may look like today


More introductions will soon follow.